To say the experience was less than epic is offensive.
2010 was my third year attending the Philadelphia Livestrong weekend to raise funds & support the Livestrong foundation.
2009 August my mother was diagnosed with CLL-Lymphoma. After some bouts with pain in her abs, fatigue her blood test was 'abnormal'.
For anyone that has received the call post diagnosis, your life changes in that instant. In 2008 I rode Livestrong with my uncle for his company for no great reason, like a burger after midnight it was without personal meaning. Sure, I believe in supporting and raising funds for many causes. Each year Ker' and I give to the children's hospital oncologist unit, we give to our local church, and we give to a few unnamed causes. We give because there will always be the need.
But 2008 I was not thinking cancer in our direct family. The call in August of 09 was textbook. My mother announced the doctors had 'found' something but to not be scared because it was too early.
2008 I rode as part of Team Shire.
My uncle is an avid cyclist, Lance Fan, and works in the health care industry in the benchmark pharma company. Our bond is years of family lines, roots and road miles. 2009 Livestrong was the shift. Shire is able to raise enough funds ($130K over the 3 years) to attend the pre-ride VIP dinner. Last year I traveled with a great friend to see the experience differently. I now see the event through the eyes of a 'caring for'. Last year at the VIP dinner LA's friend college lightened the room before the Internet's good friend
Fat Cyclist brought the rooms to tears. My 2009 dinner was spent in the space of time. I drifted to think what was coming. The 2009 ride was ridden with meaning, cause, purpose and defiance.
For the next 12 months I watched my mother's health fluctuate. Her doctor's in Canada seemed to be like any medical professional, treat with matching intent. July I made a phone call to a family member to advocate for/with/to my mother. He spleen had enlarged as a result and was causing significant discomfort for 12 months. TWELVE MONTHS.
The sit & wait mentality was not working. I was angry. Cancer causes anger. Cancer breeds anger. Three & a half weeks ago I and Ker' boarded a flight to Canada alone to attend my mother's emergency surgery. Her spleen was coming out. Her fight was strong but her health was suffering. With the family together for the first time in a long time we watched my mother fight. We get older and our parents get more beautiful.
My mother is the center of our family. Our rock. Always has been always will be. Her love for family and my father is simply put as 'life'. She breeds life, she exudes life, she lives life. Her FUCK you Cancer attitude is contagious. She spent the past 2 months telling me why it was more important the doctors treat the 'other' sick patients before her, because they were likely more sick, and she should wait. Who should wait to kick cancers ass? We were all around her as she wheeled into the Op room, we hugged as a family, cried, then we waited. Not many words, tears, smiles, odd laughter said enough.
Her recovery in the hospital was epic for us. Her stories of strippers, drinking, our youth, her youth, the 'hot' doctors, made me fall in love with my mother again with each laugh. Then I got angry. She began to be more worried about everyone in the room. Were we comfortable, was the room too hot, we should get some sleep, we should eat more. She has tubes down her throat, in her nose, in her side, other places, is on countless drugs, antibiotics, and she is worried about our comfort. After four days Ker' and I had to get home. I left the hospital angry at where we were twelve months later.
2010 Livestrong Philly was another chance to ride in honor of my mother's battle. 2010 was going to ket it's ass kicked. I traveled again with a good friend from 09 to visit my uncle and ride the 100 miler. Last year I managed to raise the bare minimum entry fundraising fee. This year I managed to raise 4x my 09 figure. People in life are kind. People give a shit. People when pushed and think; understand. The funds deserve another entry so I will skip my thoughts for now, but will return to why funding for any cause of belief deserves the right to live.
The 100 miler ride was plagued with rainfall and extreme conditions. Last year our train of 4 broke the 20mph over 100 miles and 7k-feet of hard tough PA climbs. This year I wanted to ride stroke for stroke with my uncle. It was after all his sister battling cancer. This year it was not about the speed, nor the flashy bikes, nor the kit, fuck it was not even about the bike, it was about the journey to see a loved one fight.
The ride was hard. The climbs were tough. Team Shire had a solid outing again raising $35k for the event. The rain sucked, the descents sucked, at times I wanted to fold and walk away. I thought of the friends that donated on my mother's behalf. I thought of my mother in the recovery room and how scared she has been and might still be.
Me riding 100 miles is not about me. Never was, never will be. It is not about the Livestrong Foundation. Never was, never will be. I believe in Livestrong, I am a strong supporter, always will be. They talk about the issues, the raise the issues, the share stories, they have created a community of fellowship, they have created hope, but for reasons as appropriate as pizza on a friday night, the ride was for my mother and for my family.
2010 Livestrong Philly ride is in the books. There were tears and laughs again this year. My mother is home recovering, and stronger as ever to continue to kick cancers ass.
So cancer - FU-Cancer.
